My wife was reading/singing the old nursery rhyme/song "5 Little Monkeys" to our son. As I was listening, I started to think about how these events would play out in today's economic and health care crisis.
Here are the facts and assumptions:
1. A presumably single monkey mother (the father is never mentioned so he is either working or not in the picture) has 5 active little (more than likely toddler monkeys) who she is having trouble getting to bed.
2. Assuming that the father is not in the picture, Mom is more than likely not working. The reason I say this is because even with the most inexpensive daycare, very seldom can one person afford all of the basic needs for a family of 6 AND daycare for 5 on their own. The assumption that she is not a part of the upper 3% of the population who is either making over $250,000 a year or inherently wealthy is also being made. So, if she is not working and not inherently wealthy, she must be on government support in one form or another.
3. The calls in the song to the doctor were being made after practice hours because it was bedtime. What is the earliest you can possibly put a toddler to bed? 7:00? No doctor's office is open past 6:00, so she must have been calling a hospital and talking to a doctor on call. The local hospital has started charging insurance companies a fee of $20 per call for consultation with an on-call doctor or nurse. I can only assume that the doctors eventually see some part of this fee. Insurance companies are bouncing these consultation fees right back to the policy holder. So we are paying out of our pockets each time we make one of these after hours calls.
Let's now do the math and look at the implications:
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed
One fell off and bumped his head
So Momma called the doctor and the doctor said
No more monkeys jumping on the bed!
Okay, so there is one $20 fee out of the mother's pocket and into the pockets of the hospital and doctor respectively. That is $2o that could have gone to part of the rent. The doctor only said 7 words. That is about $2.86 per word spoken.
Four little monkeys jumping on the bed
One fell off and bumped his head
So Momma called the doctor and the doctor said
No more monkeys jumping on the bed!
Ok, so we are obviously dealing with a VERY panicky mother. But, the doctor is not giving her any reassurance or offering different advice. Those same 7 words are uttered and the same fee is charged. The tally is now up to $40. These phone calls are now cutting deeper into the mother's rent money.
Three little monkeys jumping on the bed
One fell off and bumped his head
So Momma called the doctor and the doctor said
No more monkeys jumping on the bed!
$60 down the drain and the kid monkeys are still acting like kids. Mom now has to take money from what little she was setting aside for a new car to replace the '99 Town and Country that she purchased outright from a friend of her mother when she found out she was having quintuplets. The money was originally going to be spent on classes toward her nursing degree, but those dreams needed to be put on hold.
Two little monkeys jumping on the bed
One fell off and bumped his head
So Momma called the doctor and the doctor said
No more monkeys jumping on the bed!
The tally is now up to $80. There goes the portion of little BJ's asthma medication that her insurance won't pay for.
One little monkey jumping on the bed
He fell off and bumped his head
So Momma called the doctor and the doctor said
No more monkeys jumping on the bed!
$100 down. I don't know how she is going to recover from this without selling off the television.
No little monkeys jumping on the bed
None fell off and bumped his head
So Momma called the doctor and the doctor said
Put those monkeys back in bed!
Inexplicably, no one is jumping on the bed and no one gets hurt. Mom still felt the need to call the doctor, presumably out of stress-induced madness after realizing the amount of money that she has spent ($120 so far). The doctor is clearly not concerned about the mother's state of mind. If anything, he/she sees it as an opportunity to make more money because he/she suggests that the mother put the monkeys back into the bed. Knowing toddlers, one bump on the head is not going to deter them from getting right back up and jumping on the bed again. The doctor knows this and will continue to get calls from this mother until the little monkeys either pass out from exhaustion or knock themselves out. I think that the doctor is hoping for at least one concussion which would require a doctor's visit and result in a windfall for the doctor.
A lot of assumptions were made, but I think that you will agree that this is a very sad nursery rhyme taking today's state of the nation into consideration. Don't get me started on "The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe."
Here are the facts and assumptions:
1. A presumably single monkey mother (the father is never mentioned so he is either working or not in the picture) has 5 active little (more than likely toddler monkeys) who she is having trouble getting to bed.
2. Assuming that the father is not in the picture, Mom is more than likely not working. The reason I say this is because even with the most inexpensive daycare, very seldom can one person afford all of the basic needs for a family of 6 AND daycare for 5 on their own. The assumption that she is not a part of the upper 3% of the population who is either making over $250,000 a year or inherently wealthy is also being made. So, if she is not working and not inherently wealthy, she must be on government support in one form or another.
3. The calls in the song to the doctor were being made after practice hours because it was bedtime. What is the earliest you can possibly put a toddler to bed? 7:00? No doctor's office is open past 6:00, so she must have been calling a hospital and talking to a doctor on call. The local hospital has started charging insurance companies a fee of $20 per call for consultation with an on-call doctor or nurse. I can only assume that the doctors eventually see some part of this fee. Insurance companies are bouncing these consultation fees right back to the policy holder. So we are paying out of our pockets each time we make one of these after hours calls.
Let's now do the math and look at the implications:
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed
One fell off and bumped his head
So Momma called the doctor and the doctor said
No more monkeys jumping on the bed!
Okay, so there is one $20 fee out of the mother's pocket and into the pockets of the hospital and doctor respectively. That is $2o that could have gone to part of the rent. The doctor only said 7 words. That is about $2.86 per word spoken.
Four little monkeys jumping on the bed
One fell off and bumped his head
So Momma called the doctor and the doctor said
No more monkeys jumping on the bed!
Ok, so we are obviously dealing with a VERY panicky mother. But, the doctor is not giving her any reassurance or offering different advice. Those same 7 words are uttered and the same fee is charged. The tally is now up to $40. These phone calls are now cutting deeper into the mother's rent money.
Three little monkeys jumping on the bed
One fell off and bumped his head
So Momma called the doctor and the doctor said
No more monkeys jumping on the bed!
$60 down the drain and the kid monkeys are still acting like kids. Mom now has to take money from what little she was setting aside for a new car to replace the '99 Town and Country that she purchased outright from a friend of her mother when she found out she was having quintuplets. The money was originally going to be spent on classes toward her nursing degree, but those dreams needed to be put on hold.
Two little monkeys jumping on the bed
One fell off and bumped his head
So Momma called the doctor and the doctor said
No more monkeys jumping on the bed!
The tally is now up to $80. There goes the portion of little BJ's asthma medication that her insurance won't pay for.
One little monkey jumping on the bed
He fell off and bumped his head
So Momma called the doctor and the doctor said
No more monkeys jumping on the bed!
$100 down. I don't know how she is going to recover from this without selling off the television.
No little monkeys jumping on the bed
None fell off and bumped his head
So Momma called the doctor and the doctor said
Put those monkeys back in bed!
Inexplicably, no one is jumping on the bed and no one gets hurt. Mom still felt the need to call the doctor, presumably out of stress-induced madness after realizing the amount of money that she has spent ($120 so far). The doctor is clearly not concerned about the mother's state of mind. If anything, he/she sees it as an opportunity to make more money because he/she suggests that the mother put the monkeys back into the bed. Knowing toddlers, one bump on the head is not going to deter them from getting right back up and jumping on the bed again. The doctor knows this and will continue to get calls from this mother until the little monkeys either pass out from exhaustion or knock themselves out. I think that the doctor is hoping for at least one concussion which would require a doctor's visit and result in a windfall for the doctor.
A lot of assumptions were made, but I think that you will agree that this is a very sad nursery rhyme taking today's state of the nation into consideration. Don't get me started on "The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe."
1 comment:
Where do you come up with this?
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